Page 25 - UMKC Parent and Family Insider

Many factors affect how a irst-year student feels about their school. Although it may have seemed as if they could not wait to leave the nest, I guarantee they miss you, their siblings, their high school friends,
the pets, their old bedroom, and home cooked food (not necessarily in that order). In addition to homesickness, there may be roommate issues, academic struggles, etc.
How much unhappiness is typical and what, if anything, should you do about it? It took both my older sons a few semesters to ind their footing. The irst complained a great deal initially but then joined a fraternity where he made wonderful friends, changed majors (several times), and ended up loving the university
from which at one point he considered transferring.
In a minority of cases, the school really is
a bad it for a student and no amount of time will ix that. My middle son’s best high school friend was unhappy at his college and, despite his best efforts to acclimate,
he knew it would not get better. He transferred halfway through sophomore year and was much happier. In fact, he wished he had done it a semester earlier. I suggest that, if your student seems that miserable, they start the transfer process. If they change their mind, they are not bound to switch schools; however, it keeps the option open.
Freshmen and parents should expect an adjustment period which can last from a few weeks to a few months or even longer. Have realistic expectations — understand that, as with most things in life, every college has its pluses and minuses. If the situation isn’t perfect
it’s okay to acknowledge this, even as
you encourage your student to work on improving their college experience. Keep the lines of communication open and remember that, in the end, learning how to “igure things out” is as a much a part of a college education as what happens in the classroom.
MORE CONVERSATIONS
It’s normal for students to think they might have been happier somewhere else, especially in this
era of Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook where everyone looks as if they are having a better time than you are. Don’t be alarmed if you hear “I kinda wish I’d gone to.” (their second choice, their boyfriend’s school, the local state university). It is important to listen and allow them to vent, but odds are they will ultimately fall in love, or at least serious like, with the
school they chose.
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