Get stories and expert advice on all things related to college and parenting.
A Different Kind of Student Stress
Lori Bender
You spend a lot of time in college with your professors. You see them in class almost every day, and perhaps meet them during office hours. But have you thought about the importance of establishing a real connection with them? After all, they’re just here to teach, right?
Actually, there are many reasons to get to know your professors better. Any one of your professors could turn into a mentor or trusted advisor.
Developing a bond is a two-way street. Hopefully your professors are approachable, available for office hours, and respond to your communication in a timely way. But you have a responsibility, too — to take advantage of the time your professor sets aside to meet with students, to distinguish yourself in class by doing your best work, and to recognize that your professor might be someone worth getting to know.
Even if you want to connect with your professor, it can feel intimidating. Here’s why:
→ If you haven’t interacted with your professor outside of class, you may not know what to expect. What should you say? How will they react?
→ Talking face-to-face can be awkward. Many of us are more comfortable with texting and email.
→ In high school, the environment was more casual and your teachers were probably often the ones to reach out. Now you need to make the first move, but in a more formal higher ed setting, you’re not sure about the rules.
The first step is to make the most of your classroom interactions. Think about how to set yourself apart, whether in a big lecture or smaller seminar. Here are 10 tips:
1. Know the professor’s name. Sounds obvious, but it’s surprising how many students don’t remember their professor’s name. Learning it is a sign of respect.
2. Introduce yourself early in the semester. Help your professor learn your name.
3. Have a reputation for excellence. Be the student who stands out because their work is always done well and submitted on time.
4. Be engaged and participate in class. Professors can tell who’s paying attention and appreciate students who participate actively.
5. Go to office hours. Stop by early in the semester so you can start getting to know one another, and be proactive about any potential challenges in class.
6. Make your interactions meaningful. Keep it professional, but share who you are, be kind, and recognize that your professor is a person, too!
7. Send professional emails. When emailing a professor, include a greeting (Dear Professor ____), lean toward more formality, be clear about what you need, and proofread. Respond to your professor’s emails promptly.
8. Let them know if something going on in your life will affect your work and attendance. Share your concerns and be honest. Most professors want to help if they can.
9. Communicate early if there’s an issue. Are you struggling with the material? Don’t let a minor problem grow into a major one.
10. Don’t ask the professor something you should already know. Before you ask a question, read the assignment, the textbook, and the syllabus. If you’re still unsure, then ask.
You know you should drop in, but you’re dragging your feet. Having a plan will make things go more smoothly. Keep in mind that office hours really and truly are time the professor dedicates for meeting with students. These 10 additional tips will make your office visit successful.
1. Be clear about the purpose of your meeting. Do you have a question about an assignment or upcoming test? Do you just want to chat?
2. Make an appointment if possible. This allows your professor to set aside time for you and to prepare.
3. Prepare for your meeting. Gather anything helpful (assignments, tests, syllabus) and make notes about what you’d like to share or ask.
4. Err on the side of formality. Unless your professor has specifically requested that you call them by their first name, using Dr. or Professor ____ is more appropriate.
5. Introduce yourself when you arrive. Hopefully your professor knows your name, but if not, they’ll appreciate not having to ask.
6. Think about how you’ll begin. You might even practice beforehand. “Professor ____, I’d like your help.” “Thanks for taking time to see me. Can we go over your comments on my last paper?”
7. Be ready to listen. Pay attention to what your professor says and take notes if that will help you remember.
8. Ask for clarification if needed. Summarize what you heard and ask follow-up questions if anything still isn’t clear. “So to be sure I’ve got it right, you’re suggesting that I need two more sources in the middle section of the paper and a stronger conclusion. Is there a specific format or length for that conclusion?” It’s always better to ask a few extra questions than to pretend you understand something when you don’t.
9. Leave with an action plan. Be sure you understand your end goal and what to do next. Should you schedule another appointment with the professor, or with someone else? What is the timeline? Can you work backwards from the due date and break the project into smaller pieces with shorter deadlines?
10. Say thank you! Meeting with students is part of a professor’s job, but it’s always nice to be appreciated. A simple “thank you for taking time to meet with me” lets them know that you recognize their effort — another small step toward building a good working relationship.
A good working relationship while in class is essential, but there are other reasons to get to know your professors better.
1. Shared interests. Look for opportunities to interact with faculty members outside of the classroom. Share your interests and ask about theirs. Connect with professors at sports events, theater or music performances, and club events. Ask to work with a professor on research, service projects, or through campus employment or committees.
2. Exploring a major or career. If you want to learn more about a specific field, a professor is an ideal person to ask. Most faculty are happy to talk about what they know. Ask about their experiences, what types of people do well in the field, what classes they would recommend or what skills you will need. Inquire about potential career paths and whether they can help you network with others in the field.
3. Finding a mentor. Mentoring in college encompasses a range of supportive, ongoing relationships, both formal and informal. A mentor can provide advice and motivation as well as academic and career guidance. You’ll need to find the right person — a faculty member who genuinely cares about students and goes out of their way to be a role model. For your part, be ready to put in extra effort, accept and act on feedback, and respect your mentor’s time by being punctual and prepared for meetings.
Good relationships take attention and effort. Most professors will do their part to keep the door open, but it’s up to you to step through that door. Share your story with your professors, ask about theirs, stay in touch, build trust and mutual respect, and always remember to say thank you. In addition to having a richer college experience, you may just make a friend for life.
