Plan Ahead for the Best College Move-In Day

Diane Schwemm

There's a lot of advice about managing move-in day with your new college student. I've crowd-sourced these tips from family and friends to help you not only survive but also savor this transition in your student's life — and in your own.

One Size Doesn't Fit All

When it comes to moving a student to college, it's not just about big vs. small campuses, local vs. distance moves, etc.

The real variables come from our personalities and family dynamics. When the day itself finally arrives, you may find yourself fighting back tears all day, or you might not cry until you get home, or you might not cry at all. Your student may be subdued and clingy, or they may dismiss you quickly. No matter how your emotions express themselves, they are large and new for both of you.

Say a Special Goodbye at Home

Move-in day is about your student and their new campus community. Your last special time together as a family can happen at home beforehand.

Talk to your student ahead of time about move-in day and how it will unfold. Look at the schedule together so you agree about where and when "goodbye" will happen. This will help both of you feel more prepared for that moment.

Remember that your student is also saying goodbye to high school friends and sometimes a girlfriend or boyfriend. They may not be around much the last few days.

If your student is parting from a serious significant other, you might gently suggest that they plan ahead for handling this, including deciding when and how to be in touch. A friend's son spent his whole move-in day texting his hometown g.f. and, as a result, missed out on a lot.

If possible, make sure younger siblings aren't lost in the shuffle. Their lives are changing, too, and they may be way sadder than they appear.

Plan, Pack, Travel

1. Start With the College Website

Instructions and schedules for move-in will have been mailed and emailed to your student, along with lists of suggested items to bring to the dorm as well as lists of forbidden items. Find dorm shopping tips here.

2. Arrive a Day or Two Early if Possible

Whether driving or flying, if time and budget allow, arrive a day or more early. This gives you time to pick up pre-ordered items at Target or Bed Bath & Beyond, do other needed shopping, open a banking account, etc. It's great not to feel rushed.

3. If You Stay After Move-In

If you intend to add a day or two in the area after move-in, make sure you are doing this for yourself and not to linger near your student "just in case." If they feel lonely and know you're still nearby, they may want to be with you rather than engage in the welcome activities on campus.

4. Plan for a Quick Unload

When packing, remember that you will need to unload quickly — most likely, you'll pull your car up during a scheduled time slot and move right along (student volunteers will be there with carts to help). So things should be neatly consolidated (suitcases, boxes, plastic bins), easily lifted, and labeled. If using trash bags to pack, tie the bottoms and tie/tape the handles of the hangers together.

5. Organize Paperwork and Personal Documents

Have all necessary start-of-school paperwork in a separate envelope or folder that's easy to access. Ensure your student also has their driver's license or passport, health insurance card, prescription information (if taking regular medications), and banking information.

You should also discuss and sign a HIPAA (health information) release form and store scans on your phones and laptops. You can learn more about HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) here. Your healthcare provider or insurance company should have release forms; they can be found online and often on the college website as well.

Finally, it's a good idea for your student to photocopy all the cards in their wallet (front and back) and leave this at home with you in case of theft or loss.

Important Health Forms for College Students >

The Day Itself

• Again, start with the college website and communications for first-year students. Many schools assign a move-in time as well as a day. Arrive early during that time slot. Follow all instructions about parking, unloading, etc.
• Dress comfortably and casually. A Swiss army knife and Lysol wipes may come in handy. I've seen advice to bring coffee and donuts as a way to connect with your student's new hallmates…seems like more than most of us want to juggle. Chances are good there will be refreshments available, including bottled water.
• Let your student lead the way, including talking with the roommate about who gets which bed, etc. Ask your student what you can do to help unpack in the room. Your student may be happy to have you make the bed but don't insist on this or anything. It's their space.
• However, do take a photo or two of your student in front of the residence hall or in the dorm room. Family members who stayed home will want to see this!
• Make a shopping list of anything you forgot that seems essential to have sooner rather than later. DO NOT STRESS ABOUT THIS. It's easy to order items online or let your student take care of it by walking into town to explore the local shops. My son's college offered shuttles to Target during the first week of school.
• Exchange phone numbers if you overlap with the new roommate and parent(s). This may only be for emergencies, but it's nice. You may want to go out to dinner together at Family Weekend.
• If there is programming for parents, plan to attend so you can ask any final questions and begin developing your connection to the college. If lunch is on campus, you will want to walk over with other parents while the students go together.
• When it's time to leave (typically, this is built into the schedule by the college), leave. But first, take a long loving look at this face. Make the hug as long as you darn like. Your child is on the cusp of profound personal growth and, in this moment of goodbye, is someone you won't quite meet again.

From a parent in New York: "Kids are nervous, and it can cause them to be cranky. Remain calm, and don't take anything they say too personally!"

Be Kind to Yourself

• If you're not ready to drive off, take a walk around campus or in town. Sit with a cup of coffee or tea at a spot that may become one of your student's favorites.
• Numerous friends have told me it's wise to take a detour on the way home if this is your youngest or only child. If work and family obligations permit, spend a few days doing something stimulating and fun, with or without a spouse or partner. Returning to the empty nest may not be quite as much of a jolt.
• Did you fly out with your student, and now you're flying home solo? Pick the right book for the plane ride home! Tina Fey, Allie Brosh, David Sedaris… your favorite funny person. Have a friend meet you at the airport.
• When you get home and see your student's old high school track sweatshirt hanging on the coat rack, you will burst into tears (I did). Accept all the ways you feel right now — sad and possibly worried, but also thankful, proud, and relieved (not to mention exhausted).

Your student's college life has begun...and you're also starting an exciting new chapter. Congratulations!

Diane Schwemm

Read more by Diane Schwemm

Diane Schwemm is a freelance writer and editor. While Senior Editor and Content Manager at CollegiateParent, she helped create dozens of resources and publications for college students and families including many issues of the CollegiateParent Magazine and Insider. Diane lives in Boulder, Colorado and is a member of her local newspaper’s Community Editorial Board.